My God, My God, Why….?

Written by: Stan Key

Today (Wednesday, February 24), I just feel blessed…. and I’m wondering why. Katy is still stuck in a rehab facility with no date of discharge yet on the calendar. She can’t walk or move her left arm and still struggles with nausea and pain. We face another surgery on Monday when the skull bone that was removed ten weeks ago will be replaced. The future is filled with unknowns and many decisions related to my ministry remain in limbo. And yet, in spite of all this, today I just feel blessed, truly blessed.

My God, my God, why?

Typically, when this question is asked, it relates to the existential suffering of someone who is pondering the imponderable question of why bad things happen to good people. For me, at least today, my question is different, but just as deep… maybe deeper. Why do good things happen to rascals like me?

To be honest, there have been numerous occasions during the past ten weeks when I have looked up to a seemingly silent heaven and groaned, “My God, my God, why did this happen? Why is my wife paralyzed? Why does this insanity drag on day after day after day? Why are you not answering our prayers? Why have you abandoned us? Why? Why? Why?” I confess there were two occasions, when I left Katy’s room late at night to drive home; I got in my car, shut the door, and literally screamed as loud as I could. “Why?”

But today the question that mystifies me and has me completely stumped is very different. I’m utterly baffled by the incomprehensible goodness of God lavished upon someone like me. My God, my God, why have you blessed me so much? Thinking back over my day, I’m trying to figure out what caused this question to arise in the first place:

  • Maybe it was during my morning devotions when God spoke to my heart from his Word: “Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed, for the Lord God is with you. He will not leave you or forsake you, until all the work for the service of the house of the Lord is finished.” (I Chron. 28:20).
  • Maybe it was the phone-text from Anna, doing the early shift with Katy, stating simply: “Mom is doing well today.”
  • Maybe it was the joy I felt this morning over three adult daughters who love the Lord with all their hearts and are walking in truth.
  • Maybe it was the email we received from a dear friend in New York who shared tender words of love and comfort that touched us deeply.
  • Maybe it was watching the nurses and therapists who take care of Katy. Oh how they love her and tenderly talk to her, encourage her, change her bed, prepare her meds, and gently prop Wilson up on pillows.
  • Maybe it was the visitors who came today who showed such grace and sensitivity and then honored us by sharing some of their burdens with us. Katy’s load is lightened when she can take on the burden of someone else!
  • Maybe it was paying the bills that came in the mail today and realizing that we had more than enough. Like the jar of oil that never ran dry (I Kings 17:8-16), God is faithfully and miraculously providing for our needs.
  • Maybe it was the fact that last night I was able to lead the Bible study group at FAS. An email this morning indicated it “struck home” for one of the attenders.
  • Maybe it was the joy that comes in finishing my work on another issue of The High Calling magazine and feeling God’s pleasure in what was done.

My God, my God, why have you been so good to me? No, I still don’t understand suffering and pain. But when I think clearly, the mystery of God’s grace and goodness is the most baffling question of all!

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22 thoughts on “My God, My God, Why….?

  1. My good friend so beautifully written!

    Healing rain it comes with fire/so let it fall and take us higher/Healing rain I’m not afraid/to be washed in Heaven’s rain. Micheal W. Smith

    We Love and pray for the Keys

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  2. Stan, What a blessing to us all to hear this strong testimony of God’s faithfulness and love for us. We are always blessed and inspired by the courage that Katy, Anna, and you display everyday as you struggle through therapy and constant care. We continue to pray for all of you ( Sarah and Elizabeth to!) We love you, Betsy Moran

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  3. Stan thank you for sharing the truths Jesus is teaching you. Oh I remember those why’s on difficult days in different situations our family has been through. One thing I know: God is faithful and He doesn’t waste anything we go through and He always shows up.

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  4. Dear Stan, Katy and Family,
    I am “blown away” by your messages and Katy’s amazing attitude in the midst of this mystery and pain! I can relate to what you are dealing with as I went through some of this with Ronnie… But I still ask why the Lord would take such a wonderful Godly man in what we thought was the prime of his life… His thoughts are not our thoughts not are His ways our ways.
    I have been praying for Katy and all of you and will continue to keep you in prayer.
    May you feel our Lord’s supernatural strength and peace and comfort and healing!
    In Christ,
    Rena Doran

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  5. Praising God with you for this day of feeling blessed! “What a wonderful Savior is Jesus my Lord. What a wonderful Savior to me (and you too) He hideth my(our) soul(s) in the cleft of the rock and covers me there with His hand” Praying often that God will give you all that you need to know He is holding you in His hands, and as your Father in law says, “They are good hands”. He has, He is and He will.

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  6. Your faith, Katy’s faith and the faith of your girls are such an inspiration! You are all gifted writers too. The small group I am in is studying Kay Arthur’s “Lord, Where Are You When Bad Things Happen?” Keep leaning into our Lord and He will sustain you all. I have always valued yours and Katy’s honesty and transparency.🙏❤️

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  7. Dear Stan, Katy, Anna, Sara, Liz n Wilson and whole gang of your family

    There are days I want out of my rehab tech job…transporting patients and residents to and fro for therapy treatments.

    Not because I don’t enjoy being with the patients like Katy and residents like the elderly who used to attend LCC.

    It is quite the opposite…I enjoyed so much so being with them (talking and listening n watching black n white TV shows) that I often finding myself lingering in their rooms longer than I should at the end of working hour…it is the physical part that I find it a drag…not sure if Katy’s facility has a golfer to transport people to n fro for treatment…this person would have walked between 3-4 miles a day…hands gripping the back of wheelchairs, pushing some folks over 300lb and juggling to trail an oxygen tank behind me is a trip itself…yet when I thought of Katy and remembering what Jesus said about giving a drink to the least of these…I stopped complain and give praise to God that I am chosen to serve those who need help when they cannot help themselves…

    So why me Lord, because He knows I can do it only with His grace and power…

    OXOXOX

    Lisa Liu

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  8. God bless you Stan! Your honesty is refreshing, and you give us so much to ponder. Still praying for Katy, you, the girls, and their families.

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  9. Praising God with you my Brother! What a testimony that in the midst of suffering and pain with no clear answers, God is still there and His grace is sufficient.

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  10. Amen Amen Amen! It is well with our souls….because of Jesus. We love your family and continue to unit in prayer with you every single day. God bless. Mike and Sherry Powers

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  11. So true, Stan, so convicting, and so encouraging all at the same time! Indeed, what you wrote is the heart of the Gospel, isn’t it? “Why grace?” indeed is the question that arises in the hearts of those who have been captured by God’s mercy. And this is what will “redound to His glory”, our realization of His goodness toward undeserving sinners upon whom His grace is magnified.

    Joe and I continue to pray for Katy, for you and for your family. May Grace continue to abound to you all!

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  12. thank you stan for such words that bless and encourage others-i was especially struck by your comment that katy ‘s burden is lightened when she takes on someone else’s burden–i have had little contact with katy over the years but always felt an amazing love and kindness emanating from her when i did see her–thank you Jesus for katy and stan and their girls! marcie chesnut page(aunt fran and uncle ike’s niece from ohio)

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  13. Amazing words and raw transparency. I have come to love II Corin 3:17,18 the last few years. “We all with unveiled faces beholding…” It is in the unveiling that the beholding is possible which leads to the transforming. I see that happening. As God used France in your lives, He is using now too.
    Love you both,
    Randy & Bern Vinson

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  14. Dear Stan & Katy,
    These thoughts are from Henri Nouwen which I read this morning. “We all have dreams about the perfect life: a life without pain, sadness, conflict, or war. The spiritual challenge is to experience glimpses of this perfect life right in the middle of our many struggles. By embracing the reality of our mortal life, we can get in touch with the eternal life that has been sown there. The apostle Paul expresses this powerfully when he writes: “We are subjected to every kind of hardship, but never distressed; we see no way out but we never despair; we are pursued but never cut off; knocked down, but still have some life in us; always we carry with us in our body the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus, too, may be visible in our … mortal flesh” (2 Corinthians 4:8-12). Only by facing our mortality can we come in touch with the life that transcends death. Our imperfections open for us the vision of the perfect life that God in and through Jesus has promised us.”

    Today I am praying for your whole family to sense God’s perfection through your suffering. We love you and pray faithfully for you! God’s peace, Bobbi

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  15. Dear Pastor Stan,
    Your words were so honest and heartfelt. I found myself at times doing the same thing, going into my car after work or leaving for work crying and yelling out out to God- why some things were happening in my life. I’m so glad He forgives and is slow to anger. Today, I am blessed beyond measures just by the breathe He gives me everyday.
    My prayers are being lifted up to you, Katy and the girls. Sending you love today!

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  16. I am PRAISING GOD with you and for you and the testimony you have given to us! His Blessings never run out – the supply is always more than we need as we set our GAZE ON HIM!

    Psalm 23:5You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings.

    John 15:11I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!

    Romans 15:13I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

    2 Corinthians 8:2They are being tested by many troubles, and they are very poor. But they are also filled with abundant joy, which has overflowed in rich generosity.

    John 7:38 Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.’”

    Mary

    >

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  17. Stan, thank you for your “Stan” message from the Lord, with your humor, transparency, devotion and gentle love. I join so many up here praying in New York for Katy and all of you . .

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