-Written by Anna-
Knowing that transition will be hard makes it easier…right?
As a Missionary and Pastor’s Kid, I have spent my life transitioning. In fact I think I have almost prided myself on the fact that while I have never enjoyed it, I have learned the ‘tools’ that I need to transition well.
The last seven weeks have humbled me!
All week I had braced myself for this next transition, our fourth in just under seven weeks. We had done this before and I knew what to expect this time. I knew it was going to be rough and I sought to prepare myself for it. And even as the day of the move came I kept moving forward fairly well.
I kept moving forward as the time for the arrival of the ambulance changed three times.
I kept moving forward as I watched Mom struggle through her nausea and pain.
I kept moving forward as we said goodbye to all the therapists and nurses that we had come to love.
I kept moving forward as we packed up again and unpacked in a new place.
I kept moving forward as I was informed that no accommodations were made for family to stay the night so I would be sleeping in a non-reclining chair (didn’t want to leave her alone the first night).
I kept moving forward as Mom’s headache reached a ten (pain level) but the pharmacy had not delivered her medications yet so there was nothing to do but watch and wait.
I kept moving forward as we met all new people, learned new rules and systems.
I kept moving forward until I couldn’t move forward anymore. And about 2am, sitting on my chair watching my Mom trying so hard to sleep in spite of the pain, I cried out to the Lord like I hadn’t since our initial crisis the day of and after the stroke. The tears fell like they hadn’t in awhile. And the night felt dark. But a dear friend had reminded me earlier in this journey that every night ends with a sunrise and every sunrise reminds us that Christ has defeated darkness (my summary of a passage in A Life Together by Bonhoeffer). And its true! The sun came up! Our situation had not changed but His mercies were new. When I couldn’t move forward anymore He had carried us through our night! Just like He has carried us through every night of the last seven weeks and just like He carried us even when we took it all for granted.
Strength is something that we are praying for every day, for ourselves and of course for Mom. But at this moment none of us have much of it. We feel carried by the Lord Himself and the prayers of His people. As I read a verse that a friend had given to us my eyes were drawn to an earlier verse in the chapter that really ministered to my weary soul.
On the day I called, you answered me;
my strength of soul you increased.(Psalm 138:3)
When we call, He answers! What an amazing God we serve! And not only that He can increase the strength of my soul! The Bible doesn’t talk a lot about physical strength. God’s glory is actually best seen in our weakest moments (Mom is teaching us that every day!). But while He doesn’t promise us physical strength, He does promise us strength of soul! So that has become my new prayer for all of us! Thank you for your continued love and prayers! Even though the transition is hard we are getting settled in and she is in a good place and receiving good care!